Often I have overwhelming feelings of gratitude that my IC is in remission.  It is important to also write about the hope that abounds in the IC community in the areas of advocacy, research and diagnostic and treatment protocols that simply did not exist 7 years ago when I stumbled down the black and painful rabbit hole into the world of IC.  From the continued efforts of the IC Association and the IC Network to doctors such as Dr. Matt Rosenberg uncovering fast and as close to painless diagnostic tools for diagnosing IC to doctors in the forefront of IC treatments such as histamine blockers and stem cell therapy treatments such as those being utilized by Dr. Elliot Landers there is hope to share with all IC patients.  It is so easy to share the truth of living with IC that it causes extreme pain, discomfort and floods an IC patient with feelings of guilt, shame and depression and it would be wrong to cover up these truths, but in the same sense, it would be wrong to only focus on these truths and not spread the word that hundreds of people are working tirelessly to help IC patients around the world. 

Plus there are countless people, myself included, who have been able to turnaround a diagnosis of 'incurable IC' and after hard work through the use of both Western and holistic medicine and treatment protocols that IC, can in fact, go into remission.  There is so much hope and help in the world of IC right now that I hope that I am able to spread to each of you suffering from IC...you are not alone and you are definitely not forgotten.  It is my hope and my truth to continue to spread the word about cutting edge IC treatments in the hope that each of you find the comfort and support for your IC.  If you have not done so I would highly encourage you to read the series of books by IC patient and advocate Catherine Simone to read her words of help and health.  It is my duty to also share my path to remission, along with the memories of pain and tragedy living with severe IC. 

"Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The spirit of a season filled with numerous religious holidays either renews or calls in to questions one's beliefs.  By definition, the word belief does not always have to encompass a religious thought or pretext, but in our modern society it does seem that most belief systems encompass religion to some capacity.  It is with this understanding, along with the knowledge that many people remind us during this holiday season to remember to stop and reflect upon the true meaning of the season, that upon reflection I thought it was  a great season to reflect on what I believe when it comes to the beliefs that I hold regarding my body (mind, body and spirit). 

In previous blog posts I have discussed an epiphany that I had that an onset of a chronic pain disease can have similar stages as outlined in the commonly studied "7 Stages of Grief" as presented by modern day psychologists.  Along this same vein I would state that we can hold different belief patterns within our minds and therefore throughout our entire bodies regarding how ill or conversely, and much more positively, how healthy our bodies are (or are going to be through various courses of action).  It has taken me years of reading and studying religious and spiritual belief systems from Christianity to Zen Buddhism to realize that most teach (and believe) that our bodies are amazing and sometimes unexplainable organisms capable of oftentimes spontaneous 'healing'.  Because of the aforementioned myriad of belief systems I still feel obligated to put the word healing in quotes because some people believe that the very act of 'healing' or 'being healed' comes from within or from God (or god(s)) and so therefore there remains a completely different perspective on where the healing comes from as well as who or what should get kudos. 

In my opinion, no matter where the healing comes from, our attitude should be one of thankfulness and gratitude as well as provide us with the opportunity for reflecting upon the lessons that the pain was trying to teach us.  If we are still in pain then perhaps we should work on our belief system at whatever level we are most comfortable with.  Perhaps deep down at a very cellular level we do not completely believe that we can or will get better, even though we regularly attend church or synagogue.  From a biological perspective, studies have proven that the human body is continually in a stage of renewal (healing) which we witness every day if we are only to pay attention (applying lotion to our dry, flaky skin and cleaning out our hair brush, etc.)  So imagine what could happen to our belief system(s) if we combined it with what has scientifically been proven?  Emotional healing can occur through psychotherapy and/or counseling, but as we have heard we have to want to overcome our pasts and believe that the psychologist is going to help us.  We have to make the choice to eat more healthy, to walk instead of watching TV, and to read books or articles that support or perhaps even challenge our beliefs on the healing capabilities of the human body. 

I do know that when my IC was at pain and urinary frequency levels that were off the charts it was hard to believe that I could get well.  An 'ah ha' moment occurred when I began to chart feelings of higher pain and depression when I surrounded myself with on-line IC patients nay-saying every doctor and treatment protocol available.  I decided to make the choice to believe that I could get better.  The first step was by isolating myself from the naysayers and I began to read all manner of spiritual and religious tracts to support my journey towards health.  I learned Sanskrit as part of my yoga practice.  I listened to meditation CDs prior to going to bed.  I made the hard choices to never cheat on the difficult IC diet so I could chart (and praise) my progress.  So many little choices I had to make along the way towards my health happened but only after I made the choice to believe that I was going to get well.  In this season of gift giving and reflection I challenge you to reflect upon your beliefs and to perhaps make new year's resolutions that will support your beliefs as well as  your health within the new year.  I believe in good health.  Do you?

IC is not for the faint of heart, for those used to planning out each moment of their lives or for those that are unable to take action and have a voice about their daily pain and their IC treatment protocol.  So it is for all of us living with IC that I say: I have IC, don't feel sorry for me.  Instead of your sympathy lend me your ear so I can tell you about the pain and sleepless nights and about how difficult it is to eat solitary and strictly defined meals.  But then let's move on and move forward and share a cup of low acid hot tea and talk about all of the things that I've learned from IC.  Stories about how much friends and family who stand by me through thick and thin and IC mean to me; about the strength and the fortitude that is necessary in order to have a voice in a maze of doctors unversed in the complexities and overlapping conditions of IC; and about an appreciation for the small IC battles won: a food allergy overcome, a night with an extra hour of sleep. 

There is a vast valley of difference between providing sympathy and being empathetic to my IC.  One is passive, sad and lonely.  While the other is encouraging, supportive and positive.  Do not think for a minute that our IC has made us weaker for the on going pain instills in us a strength that most of us never knew we possessed.  Living with IC has been a daily reminder of all that I am thankful for: each sunset, each cat purring in my lap, each small lesson learned about life and strength and overcoming something greater than oneself, against all odds.  Like a multitude of ICers claim: I have IC, but it doesn't have me!  There is strength in numbers, and during this month of IC Awareness let us stand up and let our communities know that we have IC.  Just don't feel sorry for us when you hear the news.  Instead do something to take action to help with our cause: donate money to IC research, call or email someone you know with IC, or spread the word about IC to your family, friends and co-workers and chances are you will touch someone affected by IC.  There are millions of us ICers, with a million reasons to need your love and encouragement and support.