There is so much in life that is full of paradox and living with and then recovering from a painful disease is no exception.  When IC (and all of the other painful related conditions) fully encompassed my body I could no longer remember what it had been like to be a healthy person.  The harrowing days trying to work when all I wanted to do was lie in bed and scream and cry in pain, or both.  Every drink and bite of food became acid on my bladder and vagina.  And the depression?  The darkest of blues slashed with shards of sadness. 

Now that my IC has receded to the memories and days of some of the most hopeless days of my life I look forward to the future with both hopefulness and gratitude for the gift of well-being.  Remembering the pain and sadness is somehow easier than it was to remember health and light when my body was riddled with pain.  I have no explanation for this.  But I do know that I am forever changed by the pain and the life-altering affects of living a life without food, alcohol, socializing, and sexual intimacy for each day of those six long years.  There is hopefulness to be had for I know that I am not the only IC patient experiencing remission.  Look to messages of hope written by actual IC patients from all over the U.S. on the ICA and read the books by Catherine Simone and Amrit Willis and you will know that hope and healing are always possible.  I wish you days of love, encouragement and hope from all of your doctors, friends and family.   

As I contemplate on writing one of the last blogs of 2011 I look back and reflect upon the many IC patients, advocates and doctors who I have spoken with and I realize a common thread of resiliency and hope.  Looking forward to 2012 I see even greater advances in technology, treatments and advocacy for IC patients and I am filled with even greater hope.  So no matter your religious beliefs, whether you light the candles of a menorah, unwrap Christmas gifts by a lighted tree, or celebrate the winter solstice, I would encourage you to offer a prayer for the coming year.  I know that I will send one out to all of the IC patients both met and unmet and one for all of the tireless doctors, researchers and advocates in the numerous fields of study. 

On a personal note I anticipate great things in the coming months for the ICPBS Support website.  Look for more interviews with doctors from various backgrounds and fields of study, patient interviews, and much, much more!  I am also hoping to make a big announcement in the late spring or early summer months.  Thanks, as always, for your kind notes of encouragement and your courage in dealing with such a painful condition.  Happiest holidays to you and your families!  And I leave you with an inspiring, jaw-dropping video to give you a glimpse of what the medical community and doctors such as Dr. Anthony Atala are doing to advance technologies in the areas of organ and cell reproduction:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/20/printing-organs_n_1160307.html?ref=tedtalks2011&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Often I have overwhelming feelings of gratitude that my IC is in remission.  It is important to also write about the hope that abounds in the IC community in the areas of advocacy, research and diagnostic and treatment protocols that simply did not exist 7 years ago when I stumbled down the black and painful rabbit hole into the world of IC.  From the continued efforts of the IC Association and the IC Network to doctors such as Dr. Matt Rosenberg uncovering fast and as close to painless diagnostic tools for diagnosing IC to doctors in the forefront of IC treatments such as histamine blockers and stem cell therapy treatments such as those being utilized by Dr. Elliot Landers there is hope to share with all IC patients.  It is so easy to share the truth of living with IC that it causes extreme pain, discomfort and floods an IC patient with feelings of guilt, shame and depression and it would be wrong to cover up these truths, but in the same sense, it would be wrong to only focus on these truths and not spread the word that hundreds of people are working tirelessly to help IC patients around the world. 

Plus there are countless people, myself included, who have been able to turnaround a diagnosis of 'incurable IC' and after hard work through the use of both Western and holistic medicine and treatment protocols that IC, can in fact, go into remission.  There is so much hope and help in the world of IC right now that I hope that I am able to spread to each of you suffering from IC...you are not alone and you are definitely not forgotten.  It is my hope and my truth to continue to spread the word about cutting edge IC treatments in the hope that each of you find the comfort and support for your IC.  If you have not done so I would highly encourage you to read the series of books by IC patient and advocate Catherine Simone to read her words of help and health.  It is my duty to also share my path to remission, along with the memories of pain and tragedy living with severe IC.