My significant other calls me his Willow.  For many years I loved the pet name, assuming the moniker was because of my thin frame, long nose (he also calls me his greyhound but that is a story for another blog post), and a play on my last name of Willis.  Over the years he confided in me that although he initially called me willow because of my willowy frame he said the name matched me further because I could handle anything that life hurled at me, sometimes with gale-force wind, and I would bend but not become uprooted.  A strength he has matched with mine time and again, my twin willow with our arms hooked together yet also reaching up to the sunshine, our roots grounding us firmly. 

When IC overcame my body there were many times I thought that I did not have the strength to make it through one more day.  It is because of a few close friends and my dear fiancee that I found a strength that I never thought I possessed, hidden deep inside.  I encounter this same strength every day whenever I 'meet' a new IC patient across the many miles.  Hearing their stories my heart squeezes at the amount of pain that they endure, the self-catherizations, the nights spent asleep on the bathroom floor, their tales of family and friends deserting them when they need them the most.  Yet, they wake up every day and find the strength to not only care for themselves, moving about the world in a body now riddled with pain, but many of them are still fulfilling roles of wife, mother, sister, coworker, or caregiver to an aging family member. 

Many IC patients are quiet about their disease and of their horrific pain.  Some of my closest IC friends are artists, writers, wives and passionate and caring friends to me.  Their strength becomes my strength and I revel in their fortitude and their resolve to live a fully developed life in spite of their pain. Strength has many names and many faces, just like those of us living with IC.  You see we are all willow trees.

Health care reform within the United States is receiving a firestorm of attention and activity from both politicians and individuals right now.  I will not share political opinion on this website as that is both inappropriate but also not what the focus of this website is about.  On the other hand, it is impossible for me not to address health care reform, being that I lived for five years with a painful and chronic illness (IC/PBS) and utilized Western and holistic treatments to find relief from the unrelenting pain.

 Initially I was so shocked and tired and worn out from the intense pain that I drove literally in circles from doctor to specialist to doctor to find some answers.  It's funny looking back now that I felt such pure relief just being told an official name for my disease, as if by name alone the disease and I were a real pair.  Once I finally received the diagnosis of IC, I thought there would be a magic pill that I could take and that my doctors would be full of empathy, support and a real understanding of IC.  Instead, most doctors didn't even know what IC was, or if they knew what IC was they wanted to put me on anti-depressants and send me to psychologists so I could learn to live with the pain.  I clung to Western medicine like a stowaway lost in the icy seas after the Titanic sank for many years.  I had been taught (like millions of other Americans) that Western medicine will take care of everything if you just follow their tests, their procedures, their medications.  But if you happen to fall outside those parameters and are unfortunate enough to get a chronic disease that little is known about (when fortunes are being put towards curing other well-known diseases), it can be a sad and lonely world floating in your raft trying to avoid the icy flotsam in the water. 

I believe in doctors and I believe in the power of a good health care system.  I feel that health care shouldn't solely be for the rich or for those already in good health.  I know too many friends and relatives living with extremely painful diseases, and would never deny them their medication or their treatments to ease their pain and sleeplessness.  But I do know what helped me rid my body of IC and what currently prevents me from getting colds and other ailments: being proactive about my health care each and every day.  It's in the choices I make about eating leafy greens, removing pork and beef from my diet.  I eat whole grains, drink kombucha, and take vitamins and supplements.  I exercise and soak up the suns natural Vitamin D. 

It is a lifestyle change that I chose from the bowels of despair from living with IC that continues to change my decisions every day.  It is a choice of being proactive, not reactive when it comes to my health.  We all share this choice when it comes to our health care.  I hope that health care reform comes from within, not through government or other interactions.

IC is a painful teacher.  Most of us who get IC endure intense pain, humiliation and a complete lifestyle change seemingly overnight.  The lessons we learn are numerous and profound.  In the midst of all this pain and chaos that fills our day to day lives, it's hard to appreciate much of life, let alone step back and reflect on what we now find to be truths.

These truths include the fact that we are stronger and more resilient than we ever gave ourselves credit for.  Our capacity for pain, embarrassment and sleepless nights is both mind numbing and mind boggling.  We learn that a painful and chronic disease has physical, emotional and spiritual components.  One of the harder truths involves the connectedness between diet and the pain and inflammation cycle with IC.  And we finally find the empowerment that comes after realizing that we can make choices about our treatment of IC. 

Years after my IC went into remission after five grueling years of complete diet change, acupuncture, and yeast and bacteria elimination I find myself helping other women find their road to recovery from emotional trauma, yeast infections and other ailments.  I am saddened by their struggles and feel blessed to be able to offer advice or potential remedies pulled from living with IC for so many years.  I realize that the pain was not for naught.  I hope that it changed my perspective about life; and I hope that I continue to meet brave men and women who seek each day to improve their lives.