If I could I would cast a giant net and ensnare the pain of the world and drag it onto the beach to wither and die. I have said before that pain is a great teacher, one that does not let you become complacent or ever forget the brief moments of joy and beauty that cross our paths like shooting stars in broad daylight. Each time that I think that I have learned enough, that I am free from pain in whichever form it takes, the teacher appears again and as hard as I try to run from it, it is there to learn yet another lesson. I am learning that we are all life-long students.
I weep each time I hear of someone being newly diagnosed with IC because their words are the same words I uttered myself six years ago. There is a terror that comes with your first diagnosis of an incurable disease. Then of course there is the element of indescribable pain. Eventually you might find some relief, but you will never be the same person again, and that is a difficult thing to understand. The Buddhists say that life is pain with a few moments of joy (beauty). I am trying to accept this as waves of sadness wash over me these days. My heart is still there but it is becoming a smooth and grey thing like a stone at the bottom of the ocean.