I must admit that I am having a harder time seeing the clarity or the lessons of 2010 which has been a particularly emotionally difficult year for me. With only a few days left on the calendar I am taking a few moments of reflection in between sips of green tea. Seeking out the meaning behind the death of a close friend, almost losing my cat to a coyote attack which enfolded in front of my own eyes, and having a difficult time finding employment in a town that I've lived in my entire life are just three of the sad moments that leap into my mind. My mind wants to ask "why?" these things happened.
Th answers cannot be read in the patterns of tea leaves left in my glass. Death and pain and tragedy are a part of life. As I accept that the clarity floats to the surface: my friend's death ended her pain and suffering; Max is alive and healing and has become known as Miracle Max and has inspired everyone I tell of his near death and miraculous recovery story to to love their pets more; my months of unemployment allowed me the time to appreciate that less is more and allowed me more time to work within the realm of helping people with IC, which pays dividends to me emotionally that a paycheck never could. So as I raise my glass to my immortal beloved N., my family and friends whose constant support is a balm that soothes the sadness of 2010, and to the huge and wonderful and brave network of IC women and men and all of the doctors, nurses, and healers that help us: Here's to a Happy New You in 2011!