I was very angry at the pain and interruption in my life that IC created. It's hard to realize that there are lessons to be learned about life and about yourself when you are both angry and in severe pain. I wonder if I had actually heard about IC before getting it if I would have rethought some of my lifestyle choices, diet, and birth control pills. But the thought flees as quickly as it appears because I know that I am stubborn person and that only when I became very ill that I would take a hard look at my life. Eventually, I harnessed the anger and my stubborness into slowly loving myself again, and the happy outcome was that I began to heal emotionally and pysically.
I wish that I had known that healing was possible but only after years of heartache, pain, and a lot of hard work. But how could years of body and soul abuse be erased after a month or two of quick work? The end can eventually justify the means. Healing is not for the faint of heart. If only I had known all of this five years ago, but this understanding also came through healing, and I am glad of the know